Monday, April 20, 2009
I wear flip flops.
My husband and I laid in bed feeling very introspective last night, the eve of our 10th anniversary. We were evaluating the years of our life together, and at one point he asked me: "What if you woke up tomorrow morning and it was 1997, we had never met and all of this had been a dream?" I know it was hypothetical, but please refer to #4 of my random things list (below) and you'll know I had to suffer physically for a minute anyway, just at the thought of it.
Because WHAT IF it had all been a dream?
My first panicked thought, strangely, was that I needed to edit my list of random things. I needed to erase #23 into total oblivion. Let me quote myself:
"I wouldn’t trade my age and stage of life for anything…but…I do miss the carefree feeling of younger days and less responsibility."
Backpaddle, backpaddle. I think I overstated. I'm sure it seemed true enough when I made the list--in fact I'm sure there was much responsibility in the way of laundry, dishes, poopy diapers, etc., piling up as I made the list-- which may have influenced the sentiment. But I will take every speck of dust in my house, every patch of grime on my children, and every last item on my daily list of to-do's if it means I get the last ten years of my life...and the joy of home and family.
I am living the life I always wanted and the thought of anything else makes me feel so empty, so hollow, sooooo sad.
I'm thrilled to be celebrating ten years of the man I love, the family we have made, and the life we have built. I'm ecstatic that when I woke up this morning it was all real. Yes, two of my four children greeted me with the same morning news: "Mom, I wet my bed." And yes, my husband and I are both sick on our big day, and yes, I have spent the first three hours of my day-o-love tending to all that 'responsibility' that can be so tedious...
but I have been able to take it all in stride because of that horrid question: "What if it had all been a dream?"
So happy anniversary to the man of my dreams, and here is the official, no regrets amendment to #23 on my list of random things:
#23 I wear flip flops 90% of the time.